Part 5b - How Should B’nei Torah Conduct Themselves?

How Should B’nei Torah Conduct Themselves?

Maharshal writes in his sefer Yam Shel Shlomo (Chulin 89:9): “Anyone who is infused with the spirit of Torah who eats meat…should not eat dairy afterward until waiting the time period from a morning to evening meal, which is a six hour time span … I am explaining the phrase ‘from one meal to the next’ according to the way most people conduct themselves - one meal in the morning, and one in the evening, and this is the ikkar - one should not be lenient in this matter. We may not protest against those that are not b’nei Torah, but it is proper to protest against b’nei Torah, and to rebuke them, that they should not wait less than six hours. This is specifically the situation since the Shaarei Dura (76) writes that the common custom is to follow the ruling of Rabbeinu Moshe (Rambam) that one needs to wait six hours. This is in opposition to the opinion of Ri who permits finishing the meal and reciting Birchas HaMazon (without a requirement of any wait time). According to Ri’s opinion, one must finish the meal and recite Birchas HaMazon; if not, even if you wait the entire day, it will be assur to partake of dairy, as one must fulfill the requirement of seudah acheres (i.e., it must be the next meal). Many people are lenient on this matter and they are mistaken.”

Once Maharshal used the language that “anyone who is infused with the spirit of Torah” should wait six hours, and that one should rebuke b’nei Torah who do not wait six hours - who does not want to be counted among “b’nei Torah”? What should one whose family custom is to wait three hours do - should they be concerned for the words of the Maharshal?

However, one who reads the Maharshal’s words carefully will see that his intention is to challenge the opinion of waiting one hour, and more specifically to challenge the opinion of not waiting at all. The opinion of waiting three hours, which even aligns with the words of the Rif and Rosh, along with the explanation of the Pri Chadash, was unknown to Maharshal (who lived approximately 100 years prior to the Pri Chadash), so his intention was certainly not against this opinion.

If one were to challenge this on the basis that Maharshal writes that one should not be lenient with regard to waiting six hours, if you examine his language carefully, you will note that the statement that “anyone with a rayach of Torah should wait six hours” is not a stringency, but rather, he understands that we cannot have a complaint against those who follow the opinion of Tosefos, but he is of the opinion that at least b’nei Torah should follow Rambam. This is not an unequivocal psak halacha exhorting everyone to wait six hours. Just like we often do not follow the opinion of Maharshal, in this case as well, this is just a stringency (even Maharshal agrees that this is a stringency), and therefore there is room for poskim to not follow Maharshal and instead to follow the later authorities such as the Pri Chadash.

We see from here that one who follows the custom to wait three hours is not out of the category of “b’nei Torah”. Our minhag has who to rely on, and it aligns with the opinion of a majority of the Rishonim. In the words of the Pri Chadash, this is a matter that “all agree to” (וזה דבר מוסכם לכולי עלמא). The opposite is true. It is incumbent upon b’nei Torah [to follow this custom, in order not to infringe upon] אַל-תִּטֹּשׁ תּוֹרַת אִמֶּךָ - do not forsake the teaching of your mother (i.e., do not forsake the minhag of waiting three hours between meat and dairy).

Can a Ben Ashkenaz Act Stringently?

Can a ben Ashkenaz, who follows the minhagim of his forebears by waiting three hours, decide to act stringently and wait longer? Is such a course of action allowed, and if so, is it proper to wait six hours?

In terms of acting more stringently than the law, we have already discussed that Mar Ukvah himself waited from one meal to the next, while his father acted stringently by waiting 24 hours. We can learn from the Gemara that Mar Ukvah’s father acted more stringently than he was required to by the law. From here we can conclude that if one wants to act stringently, as a chumra, you may do so up to a 24-hour time span.

However, a ben Ashkenaz who wants to accept the six-hour time period on himself as the law (i.e., not as a stringency, but as actual law), we find differing opinions on this matter among the gedolim. It has been said in the names of Rav Shach and Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurebach that b’nei Ashkenaz should not change from their established minhag. Rav Shlomo Zalman would ask on the very premise of the question and was noted to say, “This matter has a mesorah among Israel!” (“הרי לזה יש מסורת בעם ישראל!”)

On the other hand, it has been said in the name of Rav Moshe Feinstein [4] and Rav Elyashiv, that one should be stringent in this matter (following the opinion of the Shach).

[3]. In Yerushaseinu, Volume 2, 2007, p. 369, R. Moshe Tzvi Fleishman adds that R. Shlomo Eiger, in Gilyon Maharsha (Y.D. 89:1), cites the Pri Chadash as halacha.

[4]. Compare this to Rav Moshe’s understanding of returning to the Ashkenaz nusach in terms of davening. See Igros Moshe, O.C. 2:24.