13. Making Guests Feel at Home

Dedicated by Fran Broder as a zechus for the hostages to be released safely to their families and may everlasting peace come to Eretz Yisrael in the merit of learning Hilchot Bein Adam L’Chaveiro

1.   One should welcome guests b’seiver panim yafot (with a cheerful countenance) (Rabbeinu Yonah, Sefer HaYirah). One should also ensure that guests feel comfortable and welcome in one’s home, which includes showing them the bathroom, giving them sheets and towels, and the like. One should make sure they do not feel like they are imposing or causing a burden on the household in any way (Menorat HaMaor, as cited in Halichot Bein Adam L’chaveiro 8:14). Similarly, one should not relate to the guest how much effort it took to host them, as this may make the guest feel uncomfortable (Ahavat Chesed, vol.3, ch.2).

2.   The host and household should try to avoid whispering or speaking in other ways that the guest would not understand, as that may make him or her feel uncomfortable (Kaf HaChaim of Rav Chaim Palaggi 5:14). [This would apply to discussing personal family matters or topics that the guest would not understand. Likewise, they should try not to speak in a language that the guest does not understand if this would make the guest uncomfortable (Halichot Bein Adam L’chaveiro 8:16). For example, one who lives in the U.S. should not speak a different language other than English when hosting an American guest, if possible.